Home Life

I Don’t Make This Stuff Up

So a few months ago, I noticed this weird sticky substance on the floor in the kitchen near the side of the refrigerator that faces my desk. This is the same area that I keep my Clorox Mop (the kind with the pad and the bottle of liquid that squirts on the floor to get it clean). So naturally, I assumed that the bottle had some sort of trauma and had caused havoc. The sticky fluid was also on part of the refrigerator and I really never thought about where it came from until Tuesday night.

Normally on top of the fridge, I have some phonebooks (why? I don’t know) and also my stock of paper towels. Over the weekend, I put the last roll on the holder on the counter so the top of the fridge was missing a big piece of what is normally there. As I was staring blankly into space, it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t remember opening those cabinets above the fridge since I moved into the place in March 2003.

My curiosity piqued, and I got the stool out and proceeded to open the cupboard which revealed a bottle of Midori, Triple Sec and most puzzling – a 12 pack of 7UP. I was like wow a whole 12 pack undiscovered for 2 and a half years. I asked myself, “Does Soda go bad?” I decided to get it down to put in the fridge for possible experimentation later.

As I reached to pull down the 12pack the world suddenly slowed around me. Join my thought process:
12 pack
Midori bottle sticky
Weird patterns in the bottom of the shelf
(Lift 12 pack which is oddly light)
Box is sticking to shelf
Hand wet

Then it occurs to me. My treasure is responsible for the mess. It appears that one or more of the cans have erupted up in the shelf – perhaps to call out to anyone that they are still there. Calls that went unanswered until now – and way, way too late. I also spotted my Mickey Mouse Ice Cube trays, something I had thought about but obviously never actively searched for in ages.

The 12 pack made it into the sink where it sits to this day. I have some serious cleaning to do on the shelf. (Not sure if that is mildew or just green box residue up there). It is so important that I even put a sticky note on the cabinet door that says “Clean Me” and around here at Club Josh, that is a serious note! I also need to do some CSI work on the 12 pack to determine exactly how many cans erupted. Once I find out, I will be certain to post the details.